It wasn't until I realised that I was, that I realised I hadn't been. All of a sudden one morning, as I sat with Tilly, watching her smile and grab at my face, I discovered that I was enjoying motherhood. And in that second, realised that before that moment, I had simply been doing a 'job'. It took me 10 weeks to finally find motherhood a joy.Read More
One of the clearest memories I have of those first days post-baby is sitting on the lounge at home, a day or so after we left the hospital. There were a few people there- #thelove and my mum and his mum, perhaps a couple of others, I can’t remember. I had Tilly in my arms, and she was unsettled, and I remember realizing that, despite being surrounded by people, I was completely alone.
It terrified me, and was the cause for many tears in those first days. This tiny human needed me, and me alone, and absolutely no one else could provide for her what she needed. I couldn’t escape.Read More
There's a meme that floats around about when your nose is blocked, and you contemplate all the times you took breathing for granted. Well, turns out I took having two hands for granted, too.
I never thought I'd be able to go to the toilet with one hand, but guess what- when you've got a finally-sleeping baby in your arms, you learn how to undo and do up your jeans with one hand (and not looking!) pretty quick!Read More
The desire to be perfect has long been my greatest hurdle in life. From a young girl, I had this indescribable need for everything to be a certain way, and I fell down hard whenever things didn't live up to the expectations in my mind. It's proven to be both a blessing and a curse, but as a parent, it is most definitely proving to be a curse.Read More
I always knew I was going to at least attempt to breastfeed my children. It is the most natural step forward from childbirth, to then feed your baby, as your body has been preparing to do so for 9 months. During pregnancy, it took me a while to adjust to the idea of having someone sucking on my breasts though, I won't lie. I actually even remember the day I noticed my nipples were changing, and I genuinely freaked out and cried about 'turning into a cow'. I called my mum, and had a weep over the phone about how I hated that my body was changing.
When Tilly arrived, however, I was ready and willing to make breastfeeding work. I had attended classes, I had had sessions with a lactation consultant, I knew all the technical info about how to get breastfeeding correct. I was ready for it to be easy.Read More